Here are 5 pointers that might help
Be gentle. Kinky/curly hair might appear strong. Yet in its dry natural state, it is in fact pretty weak and vulnerable to damage. You have to treat it with good products.
Yes, kinky hair can be de-tangled. Wet the hair with water or a leave-in conditioner prior to detangling. This will stop the damage of breaking the hair when you detangle.
Comb in small sections. Doing one area at a time and beginning with completions of each section of wet hair enables minimal discomfort. When each area is detangled, twist the hair and pin it to keep it separate from the twisted hair.
Discover good resources for hair care. There are so lots of videos on YouTube that show great strategies on detangling and caring for African-American hair. One of my favorite channels is by Kim Love.
One example of a good product is the Kinky Curly product line that has actually now been picked up by Target. Another example is Miss Jessie's natural hair care line, which is also offered at Target. My 2 children and I use these brand names and they have actually increased the manageability of our hair.
Improving self-confidence is typically achieved by fixing a problem or completing a job. Hopefully these ideas will help to fix problems with natural hair. Ideally, conquering kinky hair obstacles will prove to be a good increase to one's self-confidence.